Not been in here for a few weeks been very busy so I thought I would share my last nich't oot (night out) with you.
Invited to a wedding at one o the local Castles however Mrs mac and the we mac were a bit under the weather so whisky had to go on his own. So got myself dressed up kilt an awe and set off prommising Mrs mac I would put in an apperance have a couple o drams (whiskys) and hame (home) needless to say as the nich;t (night) went on I seem to have more than a couple o drams, well loads of pals were their and the dancing was good,(in fact whisky won the sword dance to the bride and groom, .dont ask another story )Now the castle was over a mile from the main road so when I phoned for my taxi I told them I would walk up and meet them at the main road.
So after saying my goodbye's I set off to the meet the taxi and as always the taxi did not turn up and my phone was now flat, another well planned whisky night oot.So I thought begger it I'll run......seemed like a good idea at the time, so I set off the couple o miles to whisky mansion, it was a grand clear night moon was bright and nothing for miles,(and I still had half o my hip flask) . I was running along bare arsed swinging in the breeze enjoying myself when oot o nowhere a bloody fox run oot right in front o me sending me arse over t.t down a banking after tumbling for ages threw bracken and bloody mud I came to a stop again'st a bloody big stane (rock) but I was ok for my head cushined the blow, picked myself up covered in mud and bruises but it was ok my flask never lost a drop.After dragging myself up the banking and climbing over the last o the bracken I found the road so after a swift swig oot o me hipflask I set off , i was about half a mile from home when a car came flying round the corner lights full on, well I dived to one side and he swerved to the other I was ok but he got stuck in the mud about 30 mtr away after a lot of revving and back and forward he got his car oot and came flying up to me, (I thought here we go this will be interesting ) lights full on ,t just when I thought it could not get worse...yep you got it his blue lights came on...bloody polis (police )He looked me up and down and after a few secs he came oot with it...........what the ****** are you doing oot here in the early oors (hours ) o the morning dressed up like that and covered and **** mud! so I parted my tale o woe about my taxi then my fall he told me to wait until he confirmed all my detaiks with the station. On his return he seemed to melow,so after a wee dram for the twa (two ) o us ,just a wee yin for he was driving he told me he would drop me hame (home ) After a wee blether (talk ) he dropped me around the corner from my house and we said oor good nights. As I walked around the corner to my house I half brushed myself doon (down) and was getting my keys oot so I could get in without being caught by Mrs mac this late and in this state, (fur she'll not believe me )when I looked up to see every light in the hoos (house ) blazing. Yep the police did not confirm my details they did it with Mrs Mac......the git!
So thats realy the reason I have not been oot and about for a while dunno what gave me the more bruises the fall or Mrs mac!
whiskymac.
Invited to a wedding at one o the local Castles however Mrs mac and the we mac were a bit under the weather so whisky had to go on his own. So got myself dressed up kilt an awe and set off prommising Mrs mac I would put in an apperance have a couple o drams (whiskys) and hame (home) needless to say as the nich;t (night) went on I seem to have more than a couple o drams, well loads of pals were their and the dancing was good,(in fact whisky won the sword dance to the bride and groom, .dont ask another story )Now the castle was over a mile from the main road so when I phoned for my taxi I told them I would walk up and meet them at the main road.
So after saying my goodbye's I set off to the meet the taxi and as always the taxi did not turn up and my phone was now flat, another well planned whisky night oot.So I thought begger it I'll run......seemed like a good idea at the time, so I set off the couple o miles to whisky mansion, it was a grand clear night moon was bright and nothing for miles,(and I still had half o my hip flask) . I was running along bare arsed swinging in the breeze enjoying myself when oot o nowhere a bloody fox run oot right in front o me sending me arse over t.t down a banking after tumbling for ages threw bracken and bloody mud I came to a stop again'st a bloody big stane (rock) but I was ok for my head cushined the blow, picked myself up covered in mud and bruises but it was ok my flask never lost a drop.After dragging myself up the banking and climbing over the last o the bracken I found the road so after a swift swig oot o me hipflask I set off , i was about half a mile from home when a car came flying round the corner lights full on, well I dived to one side and he swerved to the other I was ok but he got stuck in the mud about 30 mtr away after a lot of revving and back and forward he got his car oot and came flying up to me, (I thought here we go this will be interesting ) lights full on ,t just when I thought it could not get worse...yep you got it his blue lights came on...bloody polis (police )He looked me up and down and after a few secs he came oot with it...........what the ****** are you doing oot here in the early oors (hours ) o the morning dressed up like that and covered and **** mud! so I parted my tale o woe about my taxi then my fall he told me to wait until he confirmed all my detaiks with the station. On his return he seemed to melow,so after a wee dram for the twa (two ) o us ,just a wee yin for he was driving he told me he would drop me hame (home ) After a wee blether (talk ) he dropped me around the corner from my house and we said oor good nights. As I walked around the corner to my house I half brushed myself doon (down) and was getting my keys oot so I could get in without being caught by Mrs mac this late and in this state, (fur she'll not believe me )when I looked up to see every light in the hoos (house ) blazing. Yep the police did not confirm my details they did it with Mrs Mac......the git!
So thats realy the reason I have not been oot and about for a while dunno what gave me the more bruises the fall or Mrs mac!
whiskymac.
