Rate my Facebook ads

[kungrex2]

Hello everyone here

I am Jones - Writing

I got my first job and would like some honest feedback on my copy.

 

[Graybeard]

Click "Learn More" below to join our Free Exercise Science Course Now!

twice

• in the top 1/3 of the second fold
• as a trial close --overtalking can lose you the sale (conversion)
• give the reader/viewer the opportunity to act if he is already sold.

Other that that, I think I reads pretty well.

If it is for a landing page: "Pretty it up" with an attractive header that is relevant to the offer -- make a good first impression on the ad referral.

 

[T J Tutor]

That entire pdf appears to be a lander and not an ad. As a lander, it isn't a well laid out story. It doesn't "compel".

I am not seeing a true set for the angle, hook, and trigger.

The call to action appears once, and it is weak.

Are you going from an FB Ad > FB Page > Your Lander > Conversion Page?

What is your tracker telling you.

 

[Graybeard]

Is this your own copy or derived from a email swipe provided by the offer?

If it's too repetitive you will get the "Oh I have seen this before [x]" Redundancy has an expiration date ...

 

[T J Tutor]

Does your lander look as good as these?

---

 

[T J Tutor]

^what a hack product!!

Cinnamon: Usefulness and Safety

This fact sheet provides basic information about cinnamon—common names, usefulness and safety, and resources for more information.

www.nccih.nih.gov

Diabetes is a medical condition.
1. There are various medications that can be prescribed by licensed physicians that can help lower blood sugar to near normal levels.
2. Weight control and physical exercise help to mitigate elevated blood sugar (for some people) that's free --you just have to work at it.

No, that is a very poor example and a disservice to the public.

Ceylon Cinnamon has been shown to reduce blood sugar.
The ordinary cinnamon that you buy in grocery stores as spice is actually toxic in medicinal quantity doses.

Hopefully that "Gluco Trust" is just a waste of money because it is not effective as a remedy or a cure --it's just snake oil.
I would not want to carry the karma of being a contributor to a person's not seeking real medical advice and help.

I am not recommending anything like this, just asking if he had a pro lander built. Grabbed those examples off from Adplexity.

 

[Graybeard]

I had AI rewrite a part the results attached --needs to be edited (obliviously)

TJ has a point, and I alluded to it in the post above --sounds like ClickBank

Here what I consider now:
How strong is the actual selling page (the offer's landing page)?
And how well (accurately) is the offer going to track your conversions?

You can do your end 99% perfect and if the offer is weak you will make little.

Value has to trickle down >FROM> the offer.
You can't just put lipstick on a pig and expect it to grow wings and fly

 

[T J Tutor]

That landing page is a cookie cutter knock-off

They have great popularity this week. Adplexity reports both as growing in popularity and strength. I only looked at the desktop reports. Both showing large increased ad spends in the middle east, southeast Asia, and some of South America.

Instinctively, I see that image and look at the claims with skepticism.

We both do, but we are not in the demographics and we are both "seasoned".

 

[T J Tutor]

They don't show the variables in the links, no affiliate ID and such. It shows the redirect and the core urls. I've only taken the time for desktops. Yesterday there were two publishers and today there are ten and it does show their sites URLs'. All running on "PopCash". Adplexity usually shows the bid history but it isn't available yet. Campaigns are so new they don't have all data aggregated yet.

I'll look on mobile later when I get back from some appointments.

In the end, I am hoping the OP can tell us more about his creatives and funnel, process, etc.

 

[Graybeard]

^what a hack product!!

What Do We Know About Safety?​

• Cinnamon supplements appear to be safe when consumed in the amounts commonly used in foods as a spice or flavoring agent. Use in larger amounts or for long periods of time is sometimes associated with side effects, most commonly gastrointestinal problems or allergic reactions.
• Cassia cinnamon contains a chemical called coumarin, which can be harmful to the liver. Some cassia cinnamon products contain high levels of this substance. In most cases, consuming cassia cinnamon doesn’t provide enough coumarin to cause significant problems. However, prolonged use of cassia cinnamon could be an issue for sensitive people, such as those with liver disease.
• Little is known about whether it’s safe to use cassia cinnamon during pregnancy or while breastfeeding. Ceylon cinnamon may be unsafe for use during pregnancy if consumed in amounts greater than those commonly found in foods. Little is known about whether it’s safe to use Ceylon cinnamon during breastfeeding in amounts greater than those commonly found in foods.
• Cinnamon should not be used in place of conventional medical care or to delay seeking care if you have health problems. This is particularly true if you have diabetes.

Cinnamon: Usefulness and Safety

This fact sheet provides basic information about cinnamon—common names, usefulness and safety, and resources for more information.

www.nccih.nih.gov

Diabetes is a medical condition.
1. There are various medications that can be prescribed by licensed physicians that can help lower blood sugar to near normal levels.
2. Weight control and physical exercise help to mitigate elevated blood sugar (for some people) that's free --you just have to work at it.

No, that is a very poor example and a disservice to the public.

Ceylon Cinnamon has been shown to reduce blood sugar.
The ordinary cinnamon that you buy in grocery stores as spice is actually toxic in medicinal quantity doses.

Hopefully that "Gluco Trust" is just a waste of money because it is not effective as a remedy or a cure --it's just snake oil.
I would not want to carry the karma of being a contributor to a person's not seeking real medical advice and help.

 

[SEOAffiliatePrograms]

I'll be honest the body text isn't intriguing and I don't think it'll convert well. It reads like a parody of what an ad is supposed to be, especially with lines like:

"It can be frustrating, can't it?
But fear not...
Because I have something truly special to share with you!"

Try to make it sound more natural and genuine. Best of luck.

 

[Threeseba]

Hey Jones! Congrats on landing your first job! I'd be happy to help with feedback on your copy. Feel free to share it, and we'll give you some honest thoughts and tips.

 

[Graybeard]

I am not recommending anything like this,

I assumed that was the case, just a poor choice IMO.

Aside from that: That landing page is a cookie cutter knock-off. Ho humm, seen that before. Of course as they say, never overestimate the public savvy in making buying choices.

Since we are talking about Facebook, and its "Mind Nanny" attitudes, I think avoiding unrealistic images would be a good idea. It could take years and dedication to develop a super muscular body like that illustration.

You've got to sell the dream, that I understand but creating doubt of the dream's success can backfire.

Instinctively, I see that image and look at the claims with skepticism.

But now I am getting into selling technique ...

 

[Graybeard]

They have great popularity this week. Adplexity reports both as growing in popularity and strength. I only looked at the desktop reports. Both showing large increased ad spends in the middle east, southeast Asia, and some of South America.

But what does that really mean? Unless they identify the exact 'hop' link used --do they?
If not all that could just indicate great volume of a creative without showing the turnover of 'punters'.

 

[Graybeard]

It reads like a parody of what an ad is supposed to be

Joe Karbo --Legend. "The Lazy Man's Way to Riches"
Karbo was the forerunner of the MMO crowd.
What a crock of BS but it did sell!

c. 1967