The CPAFix Joke Thread!

[Ivana Adnium]

↑↑ Brilliant one, @Ivana Adnium

That's a good trick. I must remember it

LMAO don't you dare Marc!

 

[azgold]

You know you liked it!

Here's another one:

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner...
She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"

He replies, "No, it's too expensive."


*rim sound* And there you have it!

 

[Asif Siddiqui]

You know you liked it!

Here's another one:

A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, "Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?" She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner...
She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes." Eventually the lady asks, "Aren't you gonna bite them?"

He replies, "No, it's too expensive."


*rim sound* And there you have it!

 

[Hannah_Baily]

As they wander through the forest, a bear and a mouse happen to stumble upon a magical lamp. They rub it, thus awakening the genie inside.

"I will grant you three wishes each", he says. "The dominate of you two gets to go first".

Disrespectfully, the bear expresses his first wish while giving the mouse a cocky look. "I want all the bears in this forest, except me, to turn female!"

The genie has no problem granting his wish, and at the snap of his fingers he turns all the bears in the forest into females.

"You're next", the genie says, pointing at the tiny mouse.

With not even the slightest hesitation he asks for the coolest motorcycle in the world, which the genie grants him.

The bear goes "I want all the bears in the entire country, except me, to turn female!". Again, the genie comes through.

"Oh, well... a nice leather jacket would go along quite nicely with my bike", the mouse shyly says. *POOF*, the mouse wears the most bad-ass jacket he's ever seen and he's all excited!

Before the bear gets the chance to express his wish, the genie asks him "all the bears in the world?".

"Mhm, except me", the bear answers.

"Your wish has been granted. All other bears in the world are now female", the genie states.

The bear is so excited he doesn't know what to say, nor what to do.

"Mouse, what is your last wish?", the genie wonders.

The tiny mouse does not answer immediately. He takes time to enjoy his things. Starts up his bike, caresses his beautiful leather jacket. Revs the engine.

Suddenly, the mouse does a burnout and takes off like an oiled lightning bolt. As he disappears into the horizon, he yells, "I WISH THE BEAR WAS GAY!"

LMAO
This is funny.

 

[hiimjeremy]

How does NASA host a Christmas party?

They Planet.